I think I tried too hard.

You know how people say that sometimes the people that seem so happy on the outside are really completely broken on the inside?

That is totally accurate.

So here’s the back story. When I was young, my mom and dad got a divorce. My dad was an abusive drug addict so we got a restraining order against him. I haven’t seen him in about ten years. Today my mom told me that he passed away last night. I don’t really know what I should be thinking or feeling. I’m upset. I’ve cried about it. I’m torn up inside. But should I be? He hasn’t been in my life. And when he was in my life, he was an asshole. Had he not fucked up so much, then maybe I would have seen him more. But then again, he is my DAD. I can’t seem to wrap it around my head that my dad died. I’m just confused and shocked and I don’t really know what to do.

I know you think you know SO MUCH MORE THAN I DO but you really don’t soooooo